ENM Group Members Guide
Why we allow Unicorn Hunters in our Group
Ours is a unique group in ENM circles. We allow and embrace people from all walks of Ethical Non-monogamy, and even some whose ethics may be questionable to us. We do so because we’ve come to realize that across the vast span of people the Ethical Non-monogamy label applies to, from Swingers to Poly-folk and everywhere in between… values tend to be different. For some what is mortal sin in ENM, is someone’s excitement in another (and not necessarily unethical). Ethics can be funny that way sometimes.
Anyone who has ever spent any time in an ENM group, especially one that leans toward polyamory has seen this played out so many times. A couple comes on and posts about how they are new and are looking for that third to complete their relationship… or how they are only seeking a female to join in with the couple. There are many different variations of this… but the end result is ALWAYS the same… they get labelled as Unicorn Hunters and bullied until they leave the group.
We do not allow bullying in this group…. Period. It doesn’t matter if you agree with their ethics or not. It doesn’t matter how toxic their situation is in your opinion… we don’t allow bullying.
Don’t get me wrong… we’re not trying to justify Unicorn Hunting. We hate toxic forms of Unicorn Hunting just as much as you do… and the reality is, UH situations are far more likely to have some toxicity to them than otherwise. But… it’s not our place to judge what we don’t know… at least not in THIS forum.
The bottom line is… when you’re talking to a stranger on the internet, you never really know what their story is. You don’t know the background in their relationship? Where they are coming from as far as whether they are looking to engage casually, or in a more polyamorous way? You don’t know if they have read up on appropriate boundaries, and ethical practices? We all can assume and draw our own conclusions, but why not instead, try to reach out to them, and get to know them a bit… and then, if they need guidance, why not try to communicate with kinder, gentler language, that shows them respect and dignity… you will be way more likely to influence them to better choices.
Everyone else is driving them off… lets embrace them and help them find a better way or at least help them form a triad in a healthy way.
ENM Group Members Guide
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