ENM Group Members Guide

The ENM Group is unique in many ways. We’re all so used to Social Media being a hostile and confrontational place. Every opinion must be argued to submission, and group think and bullying have become so common that people engage in this toxic behavior without even realizing it.  

The ENM Group is different. We’re bringing people together from ALL walks of Ethical Non-monogamy. Which means we are bringing people together who do not often see eye to eye, and do not share values. Opinions vary… and conflict is the knee jerk reaction people often turn to. Our Admin team is tasked with keeping people interacting in kind and respectful ways… and it is at times a difficult task. 

Your Admin team strives to serve the needs of the group as a whole. We do so by adhering to a strict policy of non-biased management of the group. When we act in the group on a Moderator or Admin level, we set aside our own values and opinions and make decisions based on protocol and rules and we put the needs of the group as a whole above the needs or wants or values of the individual (even when it is our own). 

When a Moderator or Admin contacts you about a rule violation, it is not about your opinion, or your values. It is almost always about your conduct… something you’ve said. We OFTEN remove people from the group with whom we COMPLETELY agree with their values and opinions, but when they pushback on moderation and admin actions we have no choice. We don’t want to remove anyone from this group…we think this group does a lot of good in the ENM Community, but overly aggressive conduct and people who put judgment ahead of empathy and respect are not welcome, as they disrupt the peaceful and kind and respectful influence this group provides for thousands of people. We put emphasis on the influence that impacts thousands of people over the judgmental opinions of a few. 

We cannot express this enough…. in the same way we set aside our bias and opinions to enforce the rules of the group, we expect YOU to respond in kind when an Admin or Moderator contacts you over a rule violation. Under no circumstances should you EVER push back against an Admin or Moderator when they are working in the capacity of their position. This is something we have a ZERO tolerance policy on… we aren’t playing… you WILL be removed from the group without warning. We have a hard enough job to do without having to spoon feed people who refuse to lean into the rules and structure we’ve built around this community when we’ve clearly explained it, not only here in this guide, but also many times in the group itself. Simply put… this group isn’t going to work for everyone… it may not work for you. There are plenty of groups out there for you… this one may not be a good fit… its not personal. 

Admin’s and Moderators are also group members and practice ENM in their own ways. We often identify when we are interacting as group members an and unofficial capacity. In those moments its totally ok to interact with us, to engage with us in kind and respectful ways as you would any other member. You don’t have to agree with us, but you do have to treat us with kindness the same as you would any other member. If an Admin or Moderator needs to be involved in a conversation we are involved in, we will typically defer decision making to another Admin or Moderator member so we don’t have a conflict of interest. 

We recognize that some of the ways we expect our members to interact are unusual within the context of a normally hostile social media. As such we have built in protocols that allow us to remind our members how we expect them to interact and to help them learn how to interact in this community when they stray across the line. 

It is important to note, that egregious rule violations can and will result in serious cansequences. An Admin can decide to remove or suspend a member without warning if a rule violation rises to a level that warrants it. This is an Admin discretion decision… so there are exceptions to this policy, but for the most part… the following is the protocol we follow when taking action as Moderators and Admins in this group:

#ModReminder – we’re reminding you about this rule without consequence. We’re letting you know you’ve violated the rule with your conduct, and we expect you to correct your behavior by changing the wording of your comment or removing it completely. You will be given opportunity to make the appropriate changes without consequence as long as you do actively make the changes in a timely manner. 

#AdminReminder – An Admin action has been taken against you. You’ve been suspended pending Admin review. You will not be able to interact in the group until you’ve contacted an Admin and/or a decision has been made by our Admin Team. If this is your first strike, depending on the severity of your actions, you may be given a warning/suspension, and if you receive another strike within 90 days you could be removed from the group. If your infraction is deemed serious enough, you could be removed at discretion of the Admin team.

#AdminAction – If this is a second offense, or a serious enough offense, you will be removed at Admin discretion. All member removals are permanent. We don’t want to remove people, and only do so if we feel the safety and security of the group and its principles are at risk, or if we feel that a member is refusing to comply with our rules and our Admin’s direction. Thousands of people enjoy the community we’ve cultivated, we will not allow the behavior of a few people to ruin it for everyone else.

Only Admins may issue Admin Actions or Admin reminders. Only Admins may remove members from the group.

Admin/Moderation Authority

It is important to note… for the most part our Moderators and Admin staff have the ability and the authority to make decisions unilaterally within their tasks or role on the team without consulting with the team when a situation warrants an immediate decision.

Decisions that do not be need to be made in the moment for the security of the team, we discuss as a team and a decision is made as a team. When a topic is brought to the Admin team for discussion no one person makes the decision… not even the Admins. We’ve had situations where even the rest of the team outvoted Michael’s view, and we go with the majority. We often challenge each others thinking and work together to ensure we are sticking to our policy of working toward preserving the integrity of the mission of our group. 

Use this table to explore and navigate through the pages of our ENM Members Guide. 

LoveTribeMedia hosts this space for our ENM Members Guide for convenience of our members and prospective members. We also administrate the ENM Group but in no way do we share any private information from our members, nor do we use that information for marketing purposes or any other purpose of any kind. We don’t even use the group to market any of our work unless we offer an opportunity for others to market theirs as well… (ie podcast posts etc)