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The story of my beginning in photography will resonate with a lot of you. I started by taking photos of my wife to share openly for people to enjoy. The funny thing is, we were not even non-monogamous at the time.
As a young adult, I had an odd fetish… or at least I thought it was odd at the time. You will see a lot of it in my style of photography. I was into this thing called “wetlook.” Wetlook is basically the prurient enjoyment of people being wet in clothing you would not normally be wet in. Now, it probably sounds pretty odd to you… it does to most people, but wetlook literally permeates our society in ways you won’t realize until now… now that I’ve pointed it out to you. When a producer wants to communicate sensuality or an image that is both sexy and publicly consumable, wetlook is a favorite go to… think about how many commercials you’ve seen where the lead person gets dunked or soaked… the fluidity of the water and the effect it has on clothing can be exciting and alluring. (I challenge you now, to pay closer attention to movies, commercials, print media… it’s literally everywhere and you never knew it.
Those of us who love and appreciate wetlook are aware of it… and love finding it. Now most of us don’t go jerking off to magazine ads, or television commercials, but we do appreciate the allure… For us it is about the taboo of it… but it’s also in the ways many different fabrics react. For me, it’s about the tease of the transparency… think wet tee shirts… but some fabrics cling, some change color… there’s a whole lot behind this.
There is a whole genre of websites and porn where wetlook is a big part of it. THAT is where my beginning lies. When my wife and I got together, I sheepishly told her my secret fetish… “That’s not so weird…” she said, “It’s actually kind of sexy!” Her previous partner was pretty sneaky about viewing pornography, and often neglected her sexually… so just having a partner who was open about their desires and stimulations was pretty welcome to her.
Fast forward a couple of years… and tragedy struck. My wife was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and it was bad… really bad. The first doctor we spoke to told her that she would be getting radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and IF she survived, her hair would all fall out and she would be getting a hysterectomy. (He was partly right.)
We went home and my wife was distraught… a day or so later, all of the kids were gone that weekend, she came and tearfully asked me to take photos of her in the pool… all wet, and sexy, so I would have sexy photos to remember her by. At first I was like… no… the morbidity of the idea was awful, but I truly wanted to do anything to console her… and myself really. These were scary days for us.
Even with the sad purpose, our first shoot together was magical… she wore one of my favorite white dresses, and she got in slowly… and playfully. I loved her teasing me, laughing and enjoying my fetish… and I was getting more and more turned on by it. There was some pretty amazing sex afterward… then we went onto the computer and checked out what we had created. As we browsed through the photos, I glowed over them… and she loved them… and eventually said, “You could share a few of them on the Wetlook Forum if you like?”
So I did… and the people on the website LOVED them… we got lots of great feedback. Lots of glowy compliments, and messages of gratitude for sharing… and even a few lustful accolades and offers of sexy fun. I found it exciting knowing that other people saw in my wife what I do… and knowing that other men found my wife attractive. (I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about.)
We would discover a week or so later that the original doctor was wrong. While Ellie would be going through radiation and chemo, and ultimately a hysterectomy, she would NOT be losing her hair, and the chances of her surviving her cancer were overwhelmingly good.
In the photography world… we were hooked though… and had already made plans for our next shoot. This would be the beginning of a photography journey that has been full of fun and adventure!
It would be years later when Ellie and I sort of fell into the non-monogamous lifestyle… completely by accident. We immediately fell in love with the openness and the honesty and the fun flirty way that people interact. It totally resonated with my personality.
By now, I’d learned enough and practiced enough that I had hung my shingle as a professional photographer, doing family portraits and photo sessions and a LOT of creative work with models.
As I browsed sites like Kasidie, SLS, Adult Friend Finder… I found a niche to fill… My goal was to help these people fill their profiles with better sexy photos. I’ve found that a lot of people enjoy taking their own photos, and are reluctant to hire a pro to get sexy photos… but I still want to help you get better photos… better photos will get you better contacts, and more of the attention you’re looking for. You don’t have to be a pro to get good photos, you just need to learn a few tricks, a couple of rules… and train your eye to see your photo in your camera viewfinder before you snap. That is what this article series is going to be all about.
Starting Out… It’s All About Role Play
At the beginning level of photography, getting great photos is a lot about acting the part. I recommend role playing… imagine what it would be like to be a photographer/model on a photo set… and then play those roles.
Starting out… approach your shoot like a pro… do some planning. Go online and get some inspiration, find a theme, pick out your outfit. Figure out a “script.” Are you shooting photos? Or video? Or both? Do you have everything you need? (We will talk about equipment in a future installment.) For the model… plan ahead, makeup, hair… do all of the things and details that make you feel like a pornstar/supermodel.
As a photographer, be ridiculous. Shoot from lots of angles, shoot lots of photos, be encouraging, talk to your “model,” give her lots of positive feedback. No matter how confident a model is, getting in front of a photographer, not knowing what the outcome will be, is nerve-wracking. Lack of confidence is the downfall of many a good photo session and your encouragement will do a lot to put your subject at ease. If you’re doing it right, you will start to see the change… you’ll see her confidence level change as she starts to feed off of your energy. You’ll see the photos improve as she gets sexier and sexier… and that will help drive you even more… which will drive her as well.
The photographer isn’t the only one role playing though. As a model, you should be playing your role too. You’re no longer an average everyday housewife, you’re no longer mom, or whatever you were before… Now you’re a supermodel/pornstar! Play up that role… imagine how a supermodel would pose and then do it… camera snaps, and you change pose, snap, pose, snap, pose… and so on. Have fun with it… if you don’t feel absolutely ridiculous, you’re not doing it right. Trust me…
Keep in mind, you’re just playing around. If after an hour of shooting photos, sifting through hundreds of photos, you may find just one that will have that “wow” factor… but that’s all it takes is one… and you’ll be back for more.
The really cool thing is… really great photos are not the only outcome of a sexy photo session with your partner. We often hear that Photographer/Model role play between partners helps intensify your intimacy with your partner, and as you start to get compliments and feedback from online viewers, I found it to be a building block for my foundation of compersion… it literally was a HUGE stepping stone for us on our path to non-monogamy!
The photos in this article span from the beginning of my photography journey with my wife, to a gem of a photo from one of our most recent photo shoots (adjacent page)
I think the best intimate/erotic photography stems from the model connecting with the camera, there is no easier way for the model to connect with the camera than having a connection with the person taking the photos. (not implying an improper relationship between photographer and model… but where a relationship already exists there is gold to be found)
As you learn more and more about how to get better photos, you’re going to want to share them! Sadly most social media platforms are waging all out war on our freedoms, so easy-to-use platforms like Facebook, Instagram, etc are not advisable to use to share your sexy pics… Here are a few places you can share your photos that you may not know about.
SAF Social is the official sponsor of this article, and is a great place to share your sexy photos. Think of SAF Social as the ENM version of Facebook… where your sexy photos are not only allowed, they are encouraged! You can post your sexy photos on your own profile where you can control the privacy, or in various groups where you’re encouraged to participate and show off your best work!
Also in that “free to use” category is Fetlife… this is especially inviting if you live life on the kinkier side, although our swinger community is growing there too. For $60 per year you get access to video uploads and more sexy content!
Then there are other premium sites like Kasidie, Quiver, SLS, Adult Friend Finder and SDC to name a few of the more popular sites. They are set up exclusively for the non-monogamy community to meet other like minded people in their area. They all offer private photo galleries and profiles that let you communicate exactly what you’re looking for.
If you’re really inspired to share your sexy work, you can use photo sites like OnlyFans, DeviantArt, Flickr, Smugmug and others that will let you show off your work and in some cases even make money off of it.